Poem: The Passing Place

Meditations on driving through uncertainty

Last week, I published an essay about learning to drive stick, which made me think about all the times I’ve been grateful for this skill.

Six years ago, I spent a week driving around northern Scotland on the left hand side of the road in a manual car.

On the isle of Skye in particular, there are lots of single-track roads barely wide enough for just one car where every half mile or so, a place in the road opens up where two cars are meant to (barely) pass each other.

A few times, I had the perverse pleasure of encountering this challenge. Afterwards, it left me thinking about the obstacles and opportunity of life’s transition moments, and the question:

How do you handle the paralyzing uncertainty of what to do next?

The Passing Place

By Alicia Bonner

On a single-track road in the driving rain

There’s just one way to get home again

The sides push in, propelling you through

There’s nothing to consider, nothing to do — but keep going.

Then all of a sudden, straight out of the blue

You round a corner or crest a hill

The world opens up — a momentary thrill — you’ve got options.

In the passing place, where the road is wide

Two cars fit snuggly, side by side.

You might even make a U-turn if you’d like.

But that passing place

Where the road is wide and the options are good —

That place can scare you a lot more than it should.

Closely passing a car is no simple feat.

It’s an easy way to lose your — seat!

You’ve got to think carefully about what to do

To get yourself safely through — so you consider your options.

Do you stop? Do you go? Do you pass? Do you slow?

In that common place, in the middle of the road

You’ve got to find answers to questions

You don’t really know, like —

What the fuck am I doing here anyway?

If you haven’t already, you’ll have to decide

If you want to get out of here — dead or alive.

The stakes might have seemed low to begin

But you’ll find you’re wrong, again and again.

Such indecision easily leads to despair.

When you don’t know where to go,

It’s easiest to go nowhere.

And that’s the scariest option — the worst one of all.

What the fuck do you do when you finally stall?

And you will. Believe me —

It’s inevitable.

Your right foot on the brake, your left foot on the clutch

You can’t overthink this overly much

You’ve got to restart, you’ve got to pull through

You’ve gotta move — people are waiting for you!

Impatience is the mother of all kinds of things.

Put the car in first and release the brake

A little bit of gas is all it takes to get going.

Find your way to the edge and wiggle through

Don’t worry too much, you know what to do.

Find a way forward, one that least resists —

If you have to, pull off the road into the ditch!

It’s not the end of the world, not here, not now!

You’ll get out of here soon

You’ll figure out how.

And soon, you’ll be back on that single-track road

With no choices or options, just a singular goal — to get where you’re going.

See, that’s the tricky thing about the passing place —

It gives you the room, it opens the space to ask questions.

In the indecision and impending doom,

Only you can decide exactly what you’ll do.

How fast or how slow, a U-turn if you’d like

Only you have the power to decide —

And that’s where the magic happens.

So don’t miss it or waste it or rush it through —

That moment is made special for you.

It’s your fate, you decide

Go ahead, girl.

You got this.

Now, drive!